By The Gypsy Nurse

September 17, 2018

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Nurses Working Together to Build Camaraderie

I’ve been visiting my adult daughter for the past week or two in-between contracts.  She works night shift and when she got home the other morning; she left me a note that she was going to have an after-work breakfast with some of her co-workers.  When I woke up and found her gone and read her note; I became nostalgic.

Years ago, I worked a factory job on night shift.  We worked 8 hour shifts and 2 or 3 mornings after work, we would all go to the local diner and enjoy coffee and a bite to eat together.  We discussed work, our families, problems and joys.  We built a camaraderie by doing this that extended into our work hours.  I feel that this made us more productive and helped us work together a little better as a team.

I miss this camaraderie.  Nurses barely talk to each other during work hours, cut down each other and as many nurses state; we “eat our own”.  I have yet to figure out why we do this or how to fix it.

I recently read an article written by Lisa Gonzales, RN, who is President of Absolute Nurses.  Why Nurses Should Socialize Outside of the Workplace is an excellent article and may explain some of the reasons that we as nurses do not socialize outside of work.

…sometimes it’s just a matter of asking if a co-worker would like to do something after work or on a day off.

Ms Gonzales recommends 10 Things that you can do with your fellow nurses.  In addition to her suggestions, I would like to add a few of my own.

– Invite your co-workers for a weekend cook-out.
– Organize a carry-in lunch on the unit.
– Take cupcakes, cookies or a cake to work once a month to celebrate the Monthly Birthdays (suggest that this is rotated between the nurses on the unit).
– Get involved with a fund-raiser  for a good cause and invite your co-workers to join you.
– Find out what your co-workers interests are and find something in common.

Remember that sometimes it’s just a matter of asking if a co-worker would like to do something after work or on a day off. As a traveler, I do this frequently. During my first week or two on a new contract I will ask the staff what their favorite restaurant is, where they go on their off-time, if they can recommend an activity in the area. When they give me their recommendations, I ask them if they would like to join me. You might be surprised how often they say yes.  So next time, just ask!

Is anyone interested in a cook-out?

By The Gypsy Nurse

July 11, 2018

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Why Nurses Eat Their Young! – A Nurse Perspective

The following is a Guest Post via Erica MacDonald

After reading The Gypsy Nurse’s Post Nurses ‘Eat Their Young?’, I wondered if anyone had a different opinion than me on the cause of this phenomenon.

A nurse “eating their young” is an almost accepted form of bullying by many nurses (the ones that participate). Most don’t admit (even to themselves) that they are eating their young but cleverly try to disguise their bullying actions by positioning their attitude/behavior toward the new nurse as “helping” or “providing an educational opportunity.” People who have worked in other careers agree that they have encountered this phenomenon in other jobs. However, they are shocked at the prevalence that it occurs in nursing.

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Personal experience

Indeed, I have personally experienced it and seen it done to others. So the question is, “Why would educated and professional nurses engage in such poor behavior?” I believe there are two main reasons this attitude prevails in nursing. The first reason is… High school never ends! Refer to the subject of Social Psychology. Social Psychology attempts to explain behavior such as cliques and groupthink.

Cliques and Group Think are the underpinnings of the complicated social culture of high school and most workplaces.

So when nurses form a clique that accepts it is the “cultural norm” to eat their young, even those who don’t agree to keep quiet, not to upset the status quo. The irony of it all is that we are consistently voted America’s most trusted profession. Yet, we can not even be trusted to treat each other with kindness and respect. It is really quite sad that this shallow Group Think occurs among such talented and educated people!

What spurs this to become the social norm

So the question remains, “What spurs nurses to allow this to become the social norm in their group?” This brings me to my second reason for such an attitude to prevail in nursing. The profession of nursing in our society is synonymous with sacrifice. This sacrifice starts in nursing school and continues into the workplace.

Think back to nursing school. First, nursing program acceptance can be similar to the rush of winning the lottery because it is such a competitive process. Then you realize that your nursing professors are on a mission to “weed” people out and make sure only the strongest students pass their classes. They want to eliminate the “weak links” because nursing is a high-stress, academic, and moral science (and the school’s pass rates are public for the entire world to see). As a nursing student, you begin to study with intensity, stop socializing, working out, and attending family functions. But it is all good! You rationalize that nursing school doesn’t last forever, and it is worth the ….SACRIFICE!

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You pass NCLEX and breathe a sigh of relief.

and say to yourself, “I can live again!” Then you begin the long struggle to find a job. But wait! You finally find a job and discover it is in the specialty you are not interested in, and you will have to work nights. Again, you encounter SACRIFICE! But hey, I have a job to pay bills (often large student loan bills).

Some nurses discover that adjusting to the night shift is impossible. The longer they stay on nights, the more dysfunctional their life and sleep become. If you have young children, they make comments such as “All you do is sleep.” You and your children are on opposite schedules, so to them, it seems like you are sleeping their lives away. Also, you work weekends, odd hours, mandatory overtime, on-call, and miss holidays/special events with your family.

Furthermore, some patients and their families can be complicated and unappreciative even when you do the best you can with poor staffing ratios. Not to mention you’re often dealing with burnout if you are working in a high-stress critical care area. By the way, you have not eaten, drank water, or went to the restroom during most of the shifts you work. Don’t forget the nurse bullies! The years pass, and you lose track of the numerous sacrifices you have made in the name of nursing.

Erosion of empathy and self-confidence

So, the continuing atmosphere of sacrifice can contribute to the erosion of your empathy and self-confidence. Then enters a new nurse when stars in their eyes about the wonderful profession of nursing. You are unhappy with your situation and treat the new kid on the block just like you were treated; badly in the name of “education.” Or maybe you are a competitive type of person and want to maintain your status in the workplace you have earned. Or, unconsciously, you perceive a new nurse as a potential future threat. So you decide to test the new nurses and see what they are made of. Let’s mold a new nurse into a super nurse of steel!!

I think this is a general scenario of how nurses come to engage in nurse bullying.

Admittedly, some work environments are more accepting of new nurses than others. I realize that my example borders on the dramatic. Or does it? I have informally interviewed a large number of nurses during friendly conversations; the recurring theme is usually sacrificed. Sacrifice is the fertile ground that bullying behaviors come to seed in.

The nursing profession has decided to combat nurse bullying is similar to the approach we take in preventive care, awareness, and education. Nurse bully experts are focusing on the workplace. All over the country, hospitals are waking up and requiring education for their staff to prevent nurse bullying in the workplace.

However, since you can not control others’ actions, only your own nursing education specialty needs to step up to the plate. Nursing schools have just as much responsibility as the workplace. They have a moral obligation to help students pass the NCLEX and prepare them for workplace success.

Nursing schools should address, in their curriculum, this phenomenon and the tactics that new nurses should employ to fend off the “wolves.” Self-confident new nurses armed with the knowledge and concrete actions to defend themselves could be a deterrent for bullies. At least they won’t be blindsided when entering the workforce. We need happy nurses who want to stay in the nursing profession to care for patients and deal with the changes in healthcare.

What do you think? Is there another explanation for this phenomenon? What is your solution to the problem?

About The Author:

Author: Erica MacDonald is an MSN-prepared nurse whose mission is to empower nurses through self-employment by providing them with education and motivation. Erica blogs at http://www.selfemployednurse.com, and you can connect with her via Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/SelfEmployedNurse

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By The Gypsy Nurse

May 10, 2017

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Nurses Going A Step Beyond Camaraderie

I discussed a question (with one of my colleagues) posed by one of my readers about being forced into resignation from a job that she loved to avoid a wrongful termination due to trumped-up accusations.  After a long discussion on the subject,  she agreed to address this issue in a post.  Below you will find one experienced nurse’s explanation of what she feels is wrong with the Nursing Profession and why building camaraderie is important.

We, as nurses, have failed to realize our own value. I am not sure if it is because we are a predominantly a female profession if it’s because, as females, we are new to the professional workforce, if it is because nurses often care about others more than their career, or if it is because of the tendency for women to be passive-aggressive in nature and that we throw each other under the proverbial “bus.”

You will never hear of these things happening to the doctor.  Doctors stand together as a unifying force, even though their numbers are far smaller than that of nurses.  That is why I think it is important to build nursing camaraderie and then take it one step further.  Nurses as a profession are 2,737,400 (2012) strong.  Without nurses, all patient facilities would be at a stand still.   The doctor’s offices would close.  No school can function without a school nurse.  Some companies have nurses on staff, and all insurance companies rely on nurses every day.  But, we as nurses often forget that we are a profession and that we stand stronger in numbers than almost any other profession.

When we consider how physicians are treated with a collective number of around 661,400 (2008);  It is not their education or numbers that make physicians a force to be reckoned with.  It is only that they demand the treatment they receive; and, as a whole, will not tolerate anything different.  On the other hand, nurses see opportunity in their co-worker’s failure, and return is treated the same. How many times have you heard a fellow nurse make a derogatory remark and truly be happy at another nurse’s misfortune because they didn’t like the other nurse? The message that nurses inadvertently send to nursing management is that the nurses will tolerate that behavior and even encourage it because they judge fellow nurses on their social life, clothes, or any other issue that is not directly related to the nursing profession.  We are all guilty of this to some extent, and we are treated the way we deserve.  Not literally but metaphorically.

When those in the nursing profession realize as a whole that we ARE a profession and deserve to be treated as such… strike that…. DEMAND that we be treated as such; our work environment will dramatically change.  But it takes all nurses or at least the majority to behave like a profession and not behave like high school cheerleaders.  It is a tough pill to swallow, but we will get what we expect, and we are judged by management according to our actions.  It is hard as a nurse to stand up to management.  Yes, we will have to lose our jobs on principle.  We have to encourage other nurses to do the same and shatter that glass ceiling that continually holds nurses back.

Many nurses are so excited to become a manager to get off the floor that they are willing to throw the nurses they manage under the proverbial “bus” to stay off the floor.  Many Unit managers enjoy having no patient load… In return, they will appease upper management and throw their nurses under the proverbial “bus” to not have to take a patient load themselves.  Then the floor nurse, either hoping for a promotion or just because they don’t like that “Nurse Mary Jane” is skinny… happily throw fellow nurses under the proverbial “bus.”  As long as this behavior happens, we can’t quite blame the top executives sitting in the corner office; can we?  Change starts from within.  Each nurse is responsible for how ALL nurses are treated.  Once we all stand strong and demand a good work environment, sheer numbers will guarantee our true success in being seen as a professional, not a glorified waitress, housekeeper, and pill pusher.

The opinion on camaraderie voiced above is a powerful one. What are your thoughts? Do you think that the back-stabbing, ‘eating-our-young’ attitudes in nursing can be changed? Are you willing to leave a job based on principle? Are you willing to take the next step past simple camaraderie? Do you agree with the author above? Disagree? Share your thoughts below.

By The Gypsy Nurse

June 20, 2013

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Nurses “Eat Their Young”?

I did a phone interview the other day for a Healthcare Magazine in Chicago. The interviewer asked me about the saying, ‘nurses eat their young? and what does it mean?’  She also wanted to know where/why this term started.  I was stumped.  How do you explain this type of behavior within your profession? It’s actually embarrassing…

I began to reflect on this question after the interview was over, and I still can’t say that I understand the ‘why.’  Is it jealousy?  Perhaps we don’t want to see others succeed?  Maybe it’s just a rush to get our own work done under stressed-out, short-staffed conditions?  

The morning of the interview, I had just completed a pretty challenging (for me) hike with a new friend here in Panama.  If you know me, you know that I’m not a great hiker.  I love to hike, but I’m certainly not in ‘hiking’ shape.  My skills are that of a brand new nurse comparatively.  The hiking friend “Richard” was forewarned and agreed to support me through this hike.  Richard gave me the option to take a flat hike without a view or a ‘more challenging’ hike with a great view.  Of course, I choose the great view.  Warning Richard of my lack of skills…he was supportive, and off we went.

How did the hike go?  

I made it as far as I could….with a lot of verbal support, a little hand-holding, and lots of patience from Richard. He slowed his hike to keep my pace, gave me tips and pointers along the way, and exhibited a grand attitude of teamwork and camaraderie.  In turn, when it got to a point where I couldn’t go any further, I encouraged Richard to go ahead and get the ‘great view.’  We worked together, both supporting and respecting the skill levels each possessed.  He held back to help me gain a little experience, and I let him forge ahead when I knew I had reached my limit.

I didn’t’ reach the summit that day…

I did, however, gain some great experience and confidence as well as a wonderful view.  I finished the day feeling motivated, energized, and encouraged.

Why am I telling you about hiking?

Later that afternoon, while reflecting on all of the day’s events, I began thinking about how the hike with Richard and working with a new nurse are very similar.  Like me (when it comes to hiking), a new nurse needs lots of encouragement, support, a little hand-holding, and a lot of patience.  I’ve been on hikes where the others forged ahead, left me behind, and didn’t work with me to help build my hiking skills, and these hikes were never enjoyable.  Not only were they not enjoyable, but they also left me with a feeling of defeat and want to give it up.  We’ve all seen nurse preceptors that will forge ahead with their work, never stopping to explain or allow a much slower new nurse an opportunity to attempt a skill or procedure. I’ve worked with nurses who will completely ignore questions from a new nurse while forging ahead to get their tasks completed.

The lack of camaraderie in nursing is disheartening and embarrassing.  It pains me to be associated with a career of ‘carers’ who carry a stigma of ‘eating their young.’  

I would encourage you, the next time you encounter a new or inexperienced nurse; think of my hike and the support provided by Richard and help that new nurse reach her summit, it only takes a bit of your time, and perhaps one by one, we can attempt to change the culture from “Nurses Eat Their Young” to “Nurses support their young…” Let’s work together to help the new nurse walk away from her shift feeling motivated, energized, and encouraged instead of defeated.

Do you have any insight into why many believe ‘nurses eat their young?’