I know that I can’t be the only one that lives in a box.’ What happens when a shy, timid travel nurse decides to re-invent? Here is my Phoenix stepping out success story.
Looking back, Phoenix wasn’t one of my favorite contract locations. I’m not a fan of the desert, and my vehicle got broken into several times during my contract in Phoenix. None of this left me with a good view of Phoenix.
However, there were some great things to remember from Phoenix. Phoenix is really where I began to step out of the boxes that I lived in. Being social is a skill that you would think I would already possess being a travel nurse. Being social is definitely something that I wasn’t comfortable with. I was shy, quiet, and unsure of myself.
Phoenix was nearly 2 years into my travel nurse career. I was getting tired of being alone. Loneliness is ultimately what helped me take that next step. I was determined to re-invent myself. I determined to be the social butterfly that most of my family back home thought I was (man, were they wrong).
My first night in Phoenix, I forced myself to go over to the local Irish Pub (right across the street), Rosie McCafferty’s. Going in, I was a nervous wreck. What were the people there going to think of me? Am I wearing the ‘right’ thing? Will I look like a ‘pig’ if I order dinner? There were so many negative thoughts going through my head that I nearly turned back around and went home before I made it half-way across the street.
The reception at Rosie’s was relaxed and friendly. I immediately met Mike, Marc, and Gina when I walked up to the bar and ordered my first drink of the evening. We talked and visited over drinks, and they shared with me their favorites in the area. Any hesitations I had before arriving were quickly swept away from their friendliness. Rosie’s became a mainstay during my time in Phoenix. It was a very social place full of friendly people.
Within my first week in Phoenix, I had decided to get involved with a local Meet-up group. I attended multiple meet-ups and enjoyed each one. The meet-up group became a wonderful resource for me, from coffee shop poetry jams to a new love for contemporary art.
I knew heading to Phoenix that there was a large population of travel nurses in the area. I was able to connect with a few via the travel nurse forums on Delphi. I couldn’t understand why there were such many travel nurses in the area and no way to connect. I set out on a mission, and with the assistance of the agency that I was working for, we put together a very successful Meet & Greet. There were nearly 30 travel nurses that attended, and it was a riot. The company had a giveaway, and there was plenty of food, drinks, and laughs shared. I made some long-time friends here.
Ultimately, I was able to break out of my ‘box’ and learned to enjoy the re-invented me. From that point forward, I’ve been able to be a little more outgoing and always determined to become involved in the local area and enjoy not only the sights but the people.
What was your catalyst to stepping out and not live in a box? Where you always social? What are your tips for maintaining a social life when on contract?
1. Stay Positive The first few months are the hardest when staying away from home. It is important to maintain a positive frame of mind and continue telling yourself that the feeling will pass. Many people miss their families and familiar surroundings tremendously during the first couple of months, and this is normal.
2. Phone and Skype Regularly Technology has provided us with the facilities to stay in contact with loved ones. Telephone home when you are feeling positive and in a good mood. Make the call home after you have been out doing something you enjoy. This convinces people at home you are fine and avoids you upsetting yourself on the phone, and it will provide you a confirmation that you ARE ok as well as an outlet to share the good experience.
It is useful to phone family members regularly. An economical way of staying in touch with loved ones is using the Internet to make calls. Skype and other networks allow users to phone other Skype users free of charge. There is also an additional bonus when using Skype that allows users with web cams to make video calls. This is more personal than a telephone call, and people can also use this technology to send their love during special occasions like Mother’s Day and birthday parties.
3. Help your Family Feel Connected I find that by helping my family feel connected to me helps me not feel quite so disconnected with them. I like to send postcards of unique places that I visit. I also like to send a special package filled with local goodies (cheap) to my family to help them feel connected to me. I try to do this once during a contract. It gives me something to focus on when I am out exploring and about mid-way it gives my family something to enjoy from the area of the country that I’m visiting.
4. Make Friends It is important to make friends while living away from home. Making friends prevent loneliness and helps people stay grounded in their new surroundings. Friends can also be a source of help in difficult times. If you’re having trouble finding friends in your area, try The Gypsy Nurse’s Nurse to Nurse Connection Tool where you can safely find other Travel RNs just like you! (Please note you must be logged in on TheGypsyNurse.com to use this tool).
5. Use Social Networking Sites Social networking sites help people stay in contact. One can use Facebook, Twitter or Instagram to stay in contact with family and friends. Many people post pictures of family members and events on these sites, and people can also chat with one another.
6. Live Life to the Fullest It is important when away from home to live life to the fullest, and make every second count. Go out with friends and work colleagues. Explore the new area, and enjoy the nightlife. Remember, there are some definite perks to traveling. Take advantage of the unique things to see and do in your contract location. Go hiking in the mountains, visit a national monument, tour a city museum, take a walk on the beach and eat at new restaurants.
7. Plan a short trip to explore the surrounding area.
If you have friends or family that are normally distant and happen to be in driving distance of your contract location; make plans to go see them. If you have a couple of days off work, explore a surrounding town, park or tourist attraction. Invite others to join you but don’t give up and avoid going at it alone.
8. Re-spark an old hobby/craft or activity. Did you used to do photography? Scrapbooking? How about hiking or tennis? Is there a new activity or hobby that you have been yearning to try? Do it now! Keeping busy and keeping entertained is the number one way to avoid homesickness.
9. Understand that it’s OK to feel overwhelmed, stressed or anxious.
When you’re tired from the journey, stressed about starting in a new facility, and facing meeting new people it can feel daunting. Acclimatizing to a new city and a new facility can be hard work. Anticipate these feelings and when they happen, it won’t take you by surprise and you’ll know that they will pass.
10. Take items that make you feel more at home.
When your packing for the contract, make sure to pack along a few small trinkets to make you feel more at home in your temporary location. Photographs (I like the ones with the refrigerator frames as they pack small and don’t break), a favorite pillow/blanket or a special gift can all bring a piece of home to your surroundings. My daughter gave me a Build-A-Bear one year for Mothers Day many years back and it still travels with me everywhere I go.
11. Take care of things in advance. Planning for your time away is a key to success. Not only will arranging for a lawn service or pre-paying bills lighten the load on your loved ones, but it is also a necessary component for enjoying the time away without worry and guilt. If you have done everything in advance to ensure the physical needs of your loved ones are in order, then you can leave for your trip anticipating what’s ahead instead of worrying about what’s left behind. It’s often amazing (and humbling) to find just how smoothly things run without us when we get back home.
12. You Don’t have to miss Important Events. If you travel for your job, you’re bound to miss the occasional school play or basketball game. But thanks to modern technology, you can still be involved. For example, if you can’t make your son’s big game, ask someone to videotape it. Then, when you return from your trip, pick up some popcorn and soda and make a movie night with your family to watch the video together.
13. Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle. If you are not eating right and not getting enough sleep, you’re going to feel worse emotionally. It’s important to monitor your health while traveling. You should make sure that your eating properly, getting enough sleep and getting some exercise on a daily basis; even if this is just simply walking. Yoga is a great option for not only the physical well-being but the emotional as well. There are more ideas on how to keep fit in the P.T. Tab.
14. Enjoy the perspective your travel brings. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Whether you agree with that or not, being away certainly restores your perspective about what’s truly important in life. You tend to appreciate the time you get to spend hanging out with your spouse, tucking your children into bed or relaxing in your own home even more. I have found that traveling has only strengthened my relationships because the time spent together now is more focused quality time.
15. Agree that in the case of an Emergency, it’s ok/expected that they contact you as soon as possible. Should something go wrong at home, your family should feel comfortable contacting you. Make certain that you leave your contact information; including mobile, hospital name/phone/unit, housing Name/phone/apartment # as well as your recruiters’ contact information. Sometimes (depending on the emergency) it’s best to have the recruiter in the loop. If it is something that may pull you off of the contract, this is imperative.
16. Stop and think seriously about why you feel homesick. Are you having a difficult time with the job? Are there problems at home that you aren’t able to help fix? Are you brooding on the lack of new friends/connections? Work out exactly what is causing the feelings, and then make a plan on how you can make it different on your next trip.
17. Talk to your family and decide if Travel is right for you. Figuring out if travel nursing is the right choice for you can be a little daunting. Involve your spouse and children in the decision of how you, as a family, earn income. Speak with them honestly about the guilt you’re feeling, and ask them if they have needs you’re not meeting. Together, weigh the pros and cons of your profession and how each of these effects your family both individually and as a group. Decide as a family if traveling is the right choice for you and them right now. If it is, talk to them about the importance of helping out more than usual when you’re away, and ask them for suggestions on how you can do the same when you’re in town. When your whole family is supportive of your job, you’ll feel better when you’re away.
Living away from home gets easier, but people will always miss home. It is natural to feel homesick when away from your natural surroundings, but time heals, and people can with the help of technology, understanding and other people make their stay away from home joyous and bearable.
Are there things that you do to help treat home-sickness? Please share them in the comments below. Your treatment may be exactly what the Doctor ordered to cure someone.
There are multiple Support Groups to work into your Treatment Plan for Homesickness. The following is only a small list of the ones that I can personally recommend: Couchsurfing.org
Now, I realize that many of you either haven’t ever heard of Couchsurfing.org or if you have you think I am crazy to even suggest it. I don’t really expect you to spend the night in a stranger’s home (although I would). Couchsurfing offers much more than an overnight stay. There are community activities and there are many people who will simply meet you for coffee or give you a mini-tour of their city. It’s a great way to make a connection in a new city. Couchsurfing does request that you be willing to ‘give back’ to the community. So, make a profile and offer a coffee meeting or a mini-tour in your home city.
Meet-up.com Meetup.com is a great group that I have utilized in several cities. There are Meetup groups all over the world. If you have a hobby, an interest or an activity that you enjoy; Meetup has a group for it. Meetup has groups ranging from hiking to game-nights, scrap booking, happy hour, and even dining groups. Meetup is NOT a dating service or a singles group. It’s comprised of all sorts of people from young to old, single to married, even groups for children (with parents), or those with pets.
Meetup helped me think outside of my normal interests and activities.
I had the best time of my life when (through meet-up), I discovered that I really do enjoy contemporary art. Meetup helped me think outside of my normal interests and activities. I joined in on several activities of things that I wouldn’t have normally explored; some of them I found that I enjoyed and some, not. The point is; Meetup delivers a way to explore your temporary home and potentially make some personal connections as well.
YMCA Join your home YMCA. I did another article on Get Moving and Keep Moving that talks about the YMCA AWAY program. Check with you local chapter and find out the details.
Performances If you’re not a theater, dance or concert lover; I understand. I wasn’t either….until I found Goldstar.com. Goldstar is a discount website for local events; some are even FREE. See what’s going on when your off work and get two tickets. Ask around at work if anyone wants to join you. You’re likely to find someone who would love to go. Either offer them the ticket free for a trade (if they will drive or buy coffee after), for free, or for face value. Even if you can’t convince anyone to go with you…..GO ANYWAY. You may be surprised to find out what you enjoy if you step out of the box.
Grub With New Friends A fun new group that I have ran across is GrubWithUs.com. This group is in many cities through the US and Internationally as well. It is just growing so if your city isn’t listed, check back or suggest it yourself. Grub with us is a way to meet others over a dinner. Do you want to go to dinner and hate to go alone? Have a new place that you want to check out and want some company? Check out Grubwithus and see if anyone else is interested in joining you. I haven’t tried the service yet but I think it sounds like a ton of fun.
Take a tour Most cities have some sort of tours going on. Find out what they are and join them. BE a tourist. Your traveling (hopefully) not just for the pay but to explore this great country of ours so get out there and explore. There are many free tours in some of the larger cities. A great place to start is the local Convention and Visitors Bureau. Another place that I have found tours is Goldstar.com . This is also a great way to meet new people who although may not be nurses….share a common interest of traveling. If there is someone who you connect with during the tour; take the step and invite them for a drink or dinner afterward. I toured the Cultural Center in Chicago and had a wonderful time.
Most cities have some sort of tours going on. Find out what they are and join them. BE a tourist. Your traveling (hopefully) not just for the pay but to explore…
Take a class There are many places that offer classes; from the local library to the ceramic shop around the corner or the local community college. Find out what’s being offered and join something. For a small cost you can learn a new skill, increase that foreign language or add credits toward your next degree. In addition to academics, there are classes all over for fitness activities. Maybe your interested in yoga, tennis, or even karate? Check around and see what you can find. In summary, there are many things to keep you active, fit and entertained if you look for them. Even the smallest towns have some sort of activities going on.
What has been the most unusual activity that you’ve joined? Did you enjoy it? Would you do it again? Are there support groups that you would recommend? Please join the conversation in the comments below and share your thoughts.
If you take a chance and try out the suggestions above, let me know what your experience was. I would love to hear your results.
